So, today’s tip is a little off topic, as in not so much camera related. Well actually not at all.
You may have noticed a gap in my posts; about four weeks. Well this is because we are in the process of moving my 93-year-old mother into long-term care. We tease her that she has dementia of the body, not of the mind. She is really sharp for her age. She is in the process of finishing her third book. But I can tell you that this process is not easy.
My mother was a woman before her time. In 1947 she graduated in the first class of draftswoman in England and went back to school in her 50’s to become a drafting engineer. She worked at Kitt Peak Observatories at the University of Arizona. She became a minister at the age of 60, retired from Kitt Peak at 67, and had a wonderful second career teaching. Her focus was on the metaphysical teacher Emma Curtis Hopkins, and still is. She is the expert on her teachings.
All this being said, in this country if you are not very wealthy, aging sucks. My mother made a good living, had herself set up pretty darn well in her retirement years. But now she has no choice but to use Medicaid to pay the long-term care costs. Unfortunately, that leaves it to me to navigate through the process and make it right. I am smart enough to know we need help, so have hired an attorney. But heed my advice – have a conversation.
I am about the age my mother was when she started her second career as a minister. It leaves me with the knowledge I still have a lot to do in my lifetime. We tried to get my mother to work on planning for this outcome, but she preferred to live in the ‘now’ and not think about the ‘what if’. I, on the other hand, prefer to have a plan. This means having conversations, with my husband, children, relatives and dear friends. All the people you hope to have around you in the years to come. It would be easy to push through this process with my mother, and not want to think about it anymore. But I am determined to learn from this struggle, take it as a lesson for our own future, and plan for it.
You will see articles and ads telling you to plan for your retirement. But as medical science keeps moving forward, and people are living longer, we now need to plan for beyond retirement. I am not sure yet what that is. But having the conversations will open the doors to figuring it out. Medicaid is so final. It strips you of so much of who you are/were. My mother is now down to a small bedroom, $50 a month for personal expenses, and fortunately for her – a large family to pop by as often as possible. She should be proud of what she accomplished in her life. But the system doesn’t help support that pride.